February 2012
15 posts
9:28
I sat there on the metro, motionless, staring out at the starless sky. I like riding the metro as far as it will go, but I know that once I reach the end of the line, I’ll be repelled back to a house that’s not a home. Back to an emptiness that can’t be filled. Back to a life of questioning and worrying. Back to controlled insanity. Still, I can enjoy this time I now have for...
6 tags
Jesus's Teachings
Today is Saturday, February 18, 2012. I’m writing this to you from inside a movie theater in Alexandria, Virginia. I spent most of my morning walking around old town, trying to clear my head of bothersome thoughts. The one thing that keeps popping up in my head is the sermon a priest at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception at The Catholic University of America...
One day I’ll remember how to write again…
The Truth
My heart skips a beat when I lie down in bed at night. I am at war with the world, but trying desperately to find peace in a battleground. I’m lost in a day dream and a zombie in the waking life. My patience is limited when I am around gossips, sociopaths and soulless carcasses. I so desperately want to be liberated from this purgatory state of living. I want to be happy and mean it.
To go or Not to go? That is the question.
alwayslovedonthate:
These past few days have been intimidating and stressful; more emotionally draining than physical. The once so strong desire to get away from everything I know and love suddenly isn’t as strong as before. Maybe the reality of it all is finally setting in and I haven’t even experienced it yet. In order to grow, you have to be placed out of your comfort zone. I know that much....
7 tags
10:14
Things have gotten a lot more challenging, and today it escalated to a whole new level. Sometimes I feel like I am singled out while everyone gets a pass for whatever reason. It is emotionally draining to be talked down to like you’re a clueless child. But there’s a part in my rational line of thinking that tells me that this is a huge life test - the jobs we take up aren’t...
4 tags
Now I know how Anne Hathaway felt in The Devil Wears Prada.
If I could run away with the ones closest to me, I would do it in a heartbeat.
I think one of the hardest things about life is knowing there is no one near you can turn to that understands you like the front and back of a book. We pass by tens, hundreds, thousands of people a day, all looking for something different out of life. The people who go to church are trying to make sense of a world that seems unjust. The people who drink themselves to sleep at night are trying to...
Why do I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that things are going to start changing for the worst? I need God now more than ever.
alwayslovedonthate:
Immaturity is probably one of the things I have zero patience for.
3 tags
When I go back to school in August, I think I’m going to change my second major from journalism to telecommunications. It’s more research-based and geared to what I want to do professionally. Plus, I can graduate in the same amount of time it would take me to finish journalism.
In Washington, they say never burn your bridges with anyone because you never know how valuable that connection may be to you in the future.
“You can’t forget your past, but you can let go and start your future.”
– Quinn, Glee
January 2012
23 posts
8 tags
Today's Sermon
I went to church for the second time since I got here, but I decided to try out a different church in Alexandria since I felt like the first one wasn’t a right fit for me. The priest gave a sermon about exorcisms and how Hollywood tends to glorify them by showing a power struggle between the devil and the Catholic Church. He later went on to make a very interesting point about evil in the...
“If things were easy to find, they wouldn’t be worth finding.”
– Tom Hanks, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
2 tags
Things are starting to look up! I’m loving this city more and more every single day.
I am just literature that’s trying to be brought to life
4 tags
When winter rolls in and decides to stay, I find myself wandering on snow covered pavements with a frosty chill in the air. I start to miss the departed, but quickly conclude that the departed are better left far away. Then I start thinking about tomorrow, and the day after that. And I realize that the start of the future is here and it is up to me finally make those pipe dreams manifest into...
1 tag
Why do I keep waking up at this time every morning with this very strange feeling of emptiness?
thehappiestnerd asked: Heyyy how is DC treating you?! What's the internship like?
Remain steadfast.
alwayslovedonthate:
It all happens for a reason. Everything is timed out perfectly in the end. Have patience to get there. Just hold on a little longer.
The world is bright. The world is beautiful.
5 tags
Your strength can be measured by the importance of your support system. Whether it be your family, friends or both, they are the people you can turn to when life gets hard. Words of encouragement from loved ones are the most effective forms of motivation and perseverance. Don’t ever underestimate the value of them.
9 tags
Everyone looks forward to the beginning of a new journey. Especially if you never felt comfortable with where you were in the past. Sometimes we travel to great lengths to find what we’re looking for: love, opportunity, success, etc. But every journey is filled with trials and tribulations; challenges that tug at our very core, and that possibly could end up breaking us. The truth is not...
5 tags
Pretending that this is all make believe helps out a little. Yesterday was especially overwhelming, but the highlight of it all had to be visiting too very important landmarks in this city. The support I’ve received from my friends back home has been supportive and encouraging, and that’s what I need now more than ever. Relying on several escapes, like music and TV shows, helps to...
6 tags
…And as I sat there at the kitchen table, eating the breakfast I made for myself, I began to let my emotions take ahold of me. I started blaming myself: selfish was what I was. I started thinking about my parents and all they have sacrificed to bring me here. I thought about my friends back at school and back at home, reflecting on how strong they have made me. I even thought about the...
8 tags
I often wonder how people started off on their own. It probably wasn’t easy to begin with, and I’m sure there were sleepless nights due to insomnia and stress. But at what point do you realize and accept that this was the best thing for you to do. Does it comes months or years down the road? Does it come at the end of your life? We’re all meant to spread our wings and fly when...
And so the test of endurance finally begins. I’m scared as hell because I am still doubting whether or not I made the right decision to do this. Regardless, I need to remain strong.
7 tags
I’ve been feeling anxious and nervous all day. Except for this morning, which strangely enough I woke up feeling confident. But as the day continued on, I grew weary and tired. And when housing orientation finally let out, I walked out and starting pacing in the opposite direction so that I could clear my head. That’s when I feel most content - when I am left alone with my thoughts and...
6 tags
The actions we took yesterday and all the days before brought us to this exact moment in history. You might find yourself starting something new or trying to figure out where to go to get out of here. There are times you feel proud, ashamed, relieved or disappointed. People are either throwing stones, or offering a helpful hand. And when you find yourself confused, bullied or blind, we turn either...
4 tags
Tonight, I’m in South Carolina. Tomorrow we reach Washington, DC. That gives us one full free day before program and housing orientation on Wednesday. I’m really nervous, but I trust in God.
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I think we tend to over think everything most when we lay down in bed at night. It’s a dark, silent and haunting feeling of anxiety that begins to creep over our security and well-being. We start worrying more than we should about bothersome people or events that have or may soon take place. I don’t know any other way to calm it then to pray for serenity, protection and strength.
“The world never forgives you for your indiscretions.”
Haunted
I ran into the person I considered my best friend in elementary school today at Wendy’s. I was waiting for my food at the register, and he was in line behind me. I didn’t have to look at his face to know it was him - the haunting sound of his voice was more than enough to bring back memories I’d rather keep buried in the ground. You see, our friendship fell apart in middle school...
1 tag
Alfred: Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
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Luke Skywalker: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
The Sith Emperor: Your faith in your friends is yours.
4 tags
12:01am
Tabula Rasa at 12:01am. A new year, a new opportunity to make things right. Stop trying to make someone love you, forget about the people who have done you wrong, and set yourself free. Put the unnecessary problems you have to bed, and prepare to awaken in the morning with a set of brand new eyes.
December 2011
35 posts
6 tags
10:50
Whenever I have a hard time believing in myself, I like to look up at the collage of college memorabilia, acceptance letters, certificates and diplomas on my wall. It reassures me that anything is possible, even when something feels so out of reach. Thinking about negative ideas, people and emotions limits us from liberation . We unintentionally chain ourselves down and drown the opportunities...
krishtopherson asked: Hi Trevor. I found your Tumblr about your internship in Georgetown next month. I recently graduated from the University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB). I have a good friend who's getting her PhD at Florida. I hope you're liking Gainesville so far. I'm currently applying to law school right now. If all goes to plan, I hope to defer my admission to fall 2013. It just so happens that...
B.S. Cooper's Ridiculous Moniker: I feel stifled →
bunnyscotcooper:
I do not feel like I am really going anywhere. I feel stuck, and I hate feeling stagnant in my life and my mentality. I think the main reason I feel this way is because people around me decide to stay the same and not move forward. Every time I feel that I am making progress, it seems like I…
5 tags
I am
I am lost because I have spent too long hiding. I am scared because I am vulnerable. I am bitter because I have been hurt. I am faithless because I have been disrespected. I am shameful because I have sinned. I am broken because I have been abused. I am speechless because I have been silenced.
But I am resilient because I am a child of God.
5 tags
I watched The Help for the second time last night. It’s a heartbreaking, tear-jerking testimony of the racial tensions in Mississippi from the perspective of African-American maids working in White homes before and at the beginning of the Civil Rights Movement. If you haven’t seen it, I reckon you rent it. It has me deep in thought about people and society as I look out at the ocean.
6 tags
Falling Out
Tonight I got to thinking about friendship, and the subject of change as an essential part of the relationship. I used to be anti-change, fearing that as time grew between those you considered close, change would end up destroying the very foundations that kept you together. But now my view has changed. Change is necessary, and sometimes it’s best to redirect your course in life to fit your...
1 tag
Last night, I was invited to the house of two of my good friends for Christmas dinner. Their sister was visiting from Texas, and their uncle was visiting from Jamaica. The dinner was delicious, and I tried ginger beer for the first time! After dinner, I had a interesting conversation about what you should do when someone reveals something very private to you and what the power of God can actually...
3 tags
A friend of mine found out today that they were accepted to Harvard Law School. I’m genuinely happy for them because I know they’ve worked so hard to make this dream a reality. I just wonder whether or not by this time next year I’ll be preparing for my last semester of college, prepping for graduate school, and getting all my affairs in order to continue on with my life. I guess...
7 tags
Unorthodox Holidays and Anxiety
It never truly feels like Christmas in South Florida. Every time my dad makes a remark about it, my mom calls him a grinch. It’s always been the three of us on Christmas since none of our family lives in Florida. So we’ve kind of gotten into the habit of unorthodox holiday traditions, like Thanksgiving dinner at the MGM Grand Buffet in Las Vegas recently. I must admit that I do enjoy...
3 tags
“Being single doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong...”
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I had a conversation with one of dad’s co-workers today about my plans for graduate school. He just graduated summa cum laude with his law degree and passed the Florida Bar on his first try. I told him I was apprehensive about law school because of my legal communication class this past semester.
He assured me that most undergraduate law classes paint a negative picture of law and that...